Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Catharsis

Catharsis: the purging of emotional tensions

And purge I must. This blog is mainly about what makes me smile, but forgive me if I give off the err of perfection in this family. A college roomate read my blog and told me I was a "good mommy." Thank you, but the reason I write is not to puff me up and make me look good. Yes, I do brag on my kids and we do laugh every day and are learning to love life together, but if I fail to write what is real then I fail in general. I started this blog as a digital scrapbook, because I don't like scrapbooking and this blog seemed like a creative outlet that would allow me to store our family memories. It has served it's purpose because there are a lot of happenings that my mind would have already forgotten if they weren't on the web.

Yesterday I worked a full day and Mike went out of town, so when I came home I wanted to spend as much time playing with the kids as possible. We mainly dug in the dirt outside in beautiful weather, I might add. A quick trip to Walgreens for Owen's cough medicine was in store. So before dinner we left the house. As we were out and about I decided I had enough cash for a tall skinny vanilla latte. And since we were at Starbucks I thought why not give the kids the option of either going to the playground or Barnes & Noble to read books. To my delight they chose reading books over the playground. I thought the evening was going very well. It was now 6:30, so we returned home to make grilled cheese for dinner (Mike was out of town remember). Unfortunately what awaited us at home was not more bliss. Sammie our dog had gotten into the trash. This happens on occasion, but what was so traumatic about it was that she decided to tear open a dirty diaper that was already wrapped tight in a plastic grocery baggie. In doing so she flung poo on my walls. Not to mention that the diaper was literally shredded into tiny pieces of poo laced diaper all over my kitchen and laundry floor.
I banished the dog to the outside and vowed never to let her in unless Mike had mercy on her when he got home. The dog and I have a love/hate relationship, she only has love for us and I well, It's love/hate. She purposely chooses to do these things at the most inopportune times for me and i think she enjoys it. Anyhow, my anger got the best of me and the rest of the night with the kids was spent with me frustrated and short and frustrated and short and frustrated and short. By the time I tucked them into bed, Caeden said, "mom guess who I love the best in our family?......Daddy". I leaned down and kissed him and told him I loved him very much.
Shot right in the heart. I knew I had hurt his feelings. This morning I apologized to him for letting my anger get the best of me.
I am still upset at myself with how much I let that one incident determine my joy.
Sammie did finally come in the house to get a bath and her teeth brushed (by Mike)
So there you have it, I am in continual need of God's grace, mercy and power in my life.
The END

7 comments:

Laura said...

Mel, thanks for your sweet honesty.

I think that these learning experiences make you an even better mom. Your boys will learn so much from you when you go to them and ask forgiveness for the way that you acted.

You are a blessing to me.

Love you

Anonymous said...

Thanks for being so REAL, Mel! I don't think your blog comes across as trying to show a perfect family. I think that anyone who knows you, knows that you just enjoy the happiness of life and family! What makes you great is that you share the "realness" of your life!
Sorry your dog ate a poopy diaper! Darn dogs!!
And....thanks for sharing!
Angi

J'Aime said...

i love the detail that the dog got her teeth brushed!!!!!!! I am belly laughing over here. after poo on the walls...i don't think i would have considered her....i guess it takes the person who comes home later to do that!

Amber said...

aw, Mel. what a day...man oh man. i think i would have driven Sammie to the vet and left her there. :) i feel really bad for you. it's not true, what Caeden said, by the way...not that i have to tell you...he's crazy about you, your whole family is and kids live by their feelings anyways...thanks for sharing though...it's nice to know that we're all, every one of us, f'ed up and in need of a lot of grace.

Amber said...

by the way, how do you control your emotions so well? i think i would have started balling after Caeden said that. it's hard for me to remember what's true and not live by my feelings myself.

Art Teacher said...

That was like a day in life at our house. That kind of stuff happens to me all the time. I love this post, you will be able to go back and read it years from now and remember the lessons you learned...and you'll remember how you almost killed your dog, and you might even laugh!
You're family is pretty picture perfect though, remember you're like the coolest people I know!
Love ya, friend!

Anonymous said...

Mel,
You are a great mom, not perfect, but GREAT! God created us that way so that we don't put our hope in man, but in Him. Even at Caeden's young age he can learn that through these circumstances!!
I'm sorry it was such a rough night! His mercies are new every morning!!!
I hope you can laugh about this soon!
Love ya,
Ash