Ruminate on this

Please go read this blog. What a wonderful thing for us mom's to remember!

Atypical Life

In Training

Big Brother needs to watch closely, because the little one is close on his heels,

or shall we say tires!

Caeden is always pushing wood together for a make-shift ramp, so Mike finally drilled on toghther that wouldn't fall apart. Owen is loving every minute of it also. I wan't so popular when I made them wear full face helmets on this paticular day. The below picture is so funny to me because it shows competition and camraderie all at the same time. They both blamed each other for "who got in the way." That is what life has been like lately: competition, all out brawls enough to drive a mom nuts, and yet camraderie, with statements like, "Just a minute mom, I want to play with Owen first." At times, the Younger wants to be so independent and just like his brother, while the Older still wants to be taken care of like the baby and forego all independence. It seems that there should be a good caption for this photo, but I can't quite pinpoint it.

Fast asleep

My little one who is trying to stop taking naps fell asleep in the target shopping cart. It was 5 pm and he and I were getting a few groceries then going to eat at Panera while Daddy took C to the BMX track. I carried him to the car and he slept about 15 minutes in the car. Then I carried him into Panera and he woke up as soon as I ordered a chocolate chip cookie. :)

Enough Already

We have been down and out for quite while now. It all started a few weeks ago, the boys both had high fevers. Owen with upper respiratory, and Caeden with vomiting. Plus my cell phone decided never to work again, so i was without one for 5 days. Plus I got a sinus infection of sorts that has lingered way too long. Plus my doctor called me with my blood test results and informed me that my Thyroid levels were low again and I need to increase from 90mg to 150 mg. (No wonder I have been craving naps lately.) Plus I injured my back yesterday, can't stand up straight, and have bad muscle spasms. Plus PMS!

One would think I am exaggerating, but unfortunately I am not. I have been irritable lately, maybe from all of the above, but I still don't like my easily angered self. Sometimes I blame it on the fact that I am working two days a week and can't handle any added stress. But I still need to get a grip! The goodness that came out of the boys sickness is that Owen is now POTTY TRAINED! but has also decided he is too big for naps as well :) We have been staying home a lot more, reading a ton of library books, riding bikes, & enjoying the weather. Last night, because of my back, mike went for pizza take-out. The boys were going to go with him, but Caeden didn't want to "stop riding." C's love for riding bikes is a tender spot for his Daddy, because it reminds him of his childhood. I have been trying to get a video of Owen on the "cruiser bike" because he will be riding a bike really soon. Owen will push himself quickly with his feet and then lift them up while balancing and cruising on his bike. He loves that rusty little bike and really wants to be on the BMX track with big brother.

Just thought I would jot down the good and bad lately, time to go take a little nap :)

Resolved!

At the beginning of the year, my resolution was to read one book a month in 2010. I started reading "Praying Scripture for your Children," then about halfway through it I gave it away to my sister, Heather, before she left for Argentina. The next book was given to me by my sister Amber and her husband Sam, both very book savvy people. The title and cover looked catchy, "Don't Waste Your Life" by John Piper. After reading this incredible book and being highly convicted through every page, I would rank it as one of the most important books that I have ever read.

My simple resolution of book reading has now led me to a life Resolved.

** "Resolved: that I will live so, as I shall wish i had done when I come to die"**

The author relates a story of an elderly man finding Christ at the end of his life, and crying out in regret of his past years, "I've wasted it, I've wasted it!"

In no way do I want to come to the end of my life and have nothing to say, but "I've wasted it"

John Piper writes that "The opposite of wasting your life is to live by a single, soul-satisfying passion for the supremacy of God in all things." I can find myself passionate (in word) about a lot of ideas or things, but what moves me to deeds? This is a hard subject for me to wrap my mind around and write about. I have realized that as much as I pursue life, love, and fun; it is all in vain if God is not pursured and glorified most in my life. A few years ago, we felt as though God were just telling us to simplify life. Simplicity in not accumulating stuff and simplicity of heart. Now I see He is calling us to something so much deeper.....sacrifice. Two quotes in the book hit me hard 1) "There is more of God's glory to be seen and savoured through suffering than through self serving escape." and 2) "The really wonderful moments of joy in this world are not moments of self-satisfaction but self- forgetfuless."

After full conviction through this book, I went on to read the book "Unfashionable" by Tullian Tchividjian (also recommended by book savvy bro-in-law, Sam). This book had a lot of similarities to the former, but it puts it into the concept of the Church. The most important life lesson from this book is when the author writes, "The church's main objective should be Self-Sacrifice for the world not Self-Preservation from the World."

Self-Sacrifice, What? I have been perserving myself since I was 11. Not willing to let the world influence me, keeping myself "holy" of sorts. But that has led to a self-righteous life. Because I am good and the world is not. It surely has not led to a sacrificial love. The life of Christ was all about Glorifying God the Father by loving the world so much that He gave up his life for it.

So what does this life of suffering, self-forgetfulness, and self-sacrifice look like? It is impossible, but that is the point, right?. Because with God, all things are possible. I don't have to rely on superhuman strength, but I do have to be willing to risk my life for the sake of Christ.

Tis the Lenten season, and I am gving up txting. Sounds silly, but it is pretty hard to do. Anyhow, I was preaching to Caeden like I usually do, rambling on about life, when he said, "I know what I am going to give up for God." As I asked what, rather proudly that he was listening after all. He said, "Sharing!"

ugh...so I will continue my preaching :)

The thing about kids is they keep me grounded, and on my face before God. It is that much more urgent for us to obey God because we have two little ones who need to see parents that move when God says move. Their character of heart depends on us. I can't expect them to be something we are not. Just like the phrase, "You teach what you know, but you reproduce who you are." I can preach and teach them a lot about life, but in order for them to be a child/teen/adult who lets the sacrifice that Christ made on the cross truly transform the very core of who they are, it has to be learned by seeing their parents live it out daily. That is a big task that I fail at daily. My prayer is John 15:5 when Jesus says "....apart from me, you can do nothing."

How do i teach my kids the Realness of Christ and the urgency of living all out for God? I am on that quest myself. What an image it would look like for us Christians in the Church to truly give our lives for this world. Not to live in seclusion and judgement, but to engage, make a difference, speak the truth, show love!

Isaiah 1:17 Learn to do good; Seek justice, Reprove the ruthless, Defend the orphan, Plead for the widow

I will end with what my funny husband likes to call "Pillow Talk"

"Even sinners work hard, avoid gross sin, watch TV at night, and do fun stuff on the weekend. What more are you doing than others?"

Catharsis

Catharsis: the purging of emotional tensions

And purge I must. This blog is mainly about what makes me smile, but forgive me if I give off the err of perfection in this family. A college roomate read my blog and told me I was a "good mommy." Thank you, but the reason I write is not to puff me up and make me look good. Yes, I do brag on my kids and we do laugh every day and are learning to love life together, but if I fail to write what is real then I fail in general. I started this blog as a digital scrapbook, because I don't like scrapbooking and this blog seemed like a creative outlet that would allow me to store our family memories. It has served it's purpose because there are a lot of happenings that my mind would have already forgotten if they weren't on the web.

Yesterday I worked a full day and Mike went out of town, so when I came home I wanted to spend as much time playing with the kids as possible. We mainly dug in the dirt outside in beautiful weather, I might add. A quick trip to Walgreens for Owen's cough medicine was in store. So before dinner we left the house. As we were out and about I decided I had enough cash for a tall skinny vanilla latte. And since we were at Starbucks I thought why not give the kids the option of either going to the playground or Barnes & Noble to read books. To my delight they chose reading books over the playground. I thought the evening was going very well. It was now 6:30, so we returned home to make grilled cheese for dinner (Mike was out of town remember). Unfortunately what awaited us at home was not more bliss. Sammie our dog had gotten into the trash. This happens on occasion, but what was so traumatic about it was that she decided to tear open a dirty diaper that was already wrapped tight in a plastic grocery baggie. In doing so she flung poo on my walls. Not to mention that the diaper was literally shredded into tiny pieces of poo laced diaper all over my kitchen and laundry floor.

I banished the dog to the outside and vowed never to let her in unless Mike had mercy on her when he got home. The dog and I have a love/hate relationship, she only has love for us and I well, It's love/hate. She purposely chooses to do these things at the most inopportune times for me and i think she enjoys it. Anyhow, my anger got the best of me and the rest of the night with the kids was spent with me frustrated and short and frustrated and short and frustrated and short. By the time I tucked them into bed, Caeden said, "mom guess who I love the best in our family?......Daddy". I leaned down and kissed him and told him I loved him very much.

Shot right in the heart. I knew I had hurt his feelings. This morning I apologized to him for letting my anger get the best of me.

I am still upset at myself with how much I let that one incident determine my joy.

Sammie did finally come in the house to get a bath and her teeth brushed (by Mike)

So there you have it, I am in continual need of God's grace, mercy and power in my life.

The END

My lovies

Owen is such a lover. Several times a day he looks at me in the eye and says, "I like you" or "I love you." It doesn't take much for my heart to melt. On Tues nights when Caeden and Daddy bond on the track

Owen and I do our own bonding

Like Father, Like Son

Like Father

Like Son

Mike set up a jump in the backyard for Caeden to practice wheelies.

These pictures are from day one and day two.....He did very well....I kinda think it's in his blood!

the Perfect Day

"Okay kids, let's ride"

"almost there"

"this hill is really high, Dad"

"I'll show you how it's done, boys"

"I'll try now, Dad"

"Wait up Caeden"

"That was really fun"

"I want to ride this hill instead"

"Here I go"

"I left Daddy in the dust"

"That hill was nothing, lets try something more dangerous"

"Sounds good to me, how's this for dangerous"

The perfect day spent

Riding, Exploring, Bonding

Happy Valentines Day

Dear Michael,

Forever in love with you

Yours truly,

me